THE SEARCH OF A YOUNG WOMAN

Nothing beats a complete rest to make self more beautiful inside and out.

For the past few days I would admit that I've been neglecting my self needs because of my over "busy" schedule. I get only about 3 to 4 hours of sleep for the past two weeks because of stress (health issues, examination week, long hours of duty, after duty classes) It felt like I can't face the mirror for a while because I'm always on the hurry. But for this weekend I promised myself to focus and give time to myself somehow. A beauty rest would do and some minor cleaning up and a small make over for myself to create a new ambiance for myself. i just hope that I could do this for the whole weekend. I just need this for my! for inner happiness and self contentment..lol I am being materialistic and judgemental about happiness. So ciao for now..

Happy Sunday everyone!

well this week will be the most free week of my life as a student nurse,I have a long weekend because of the holiday on Monday and the week will be all about intramural,I guess this will be a more relaxing week to rejuvenate my energy for the finals.. so much for the stress! I need time to rest.. Actually I have nothing more to say because there's nothing new about me, I just miss my blogging and I was just trying to divert my attention to other things rather than making myself bored all day. I'll be predicting a severe headache for me if I continue my day just lying on my bed with nothing to do. Good thing computers and Internets were invented, the reason or my number 1 anti boredom activity! For today I am planning to do my blogging and watch Dear friend later and attend mass,maybe I'll be doing my weekly guilty pleasures and that includes indulging myself into foods and having a dvd marathon with my sister. What a life!! I love my life this weekend! So loving it! I want to enjoy it while it last.

This week was the worst week of my life as a student! I much things to do. Today I had about only 4 hours of sleep. Last night I was so exhausted and can't barely open my eyes so I decide to discontinue my review and planned to woke up early to continue. Today is our Big day!Examination day! I hope I could.. Cause I I really need to pass this exam!! Pray for me!!!..

I know I was procrastinating my blogging lately and broked my promise to blog and tell the happenings lately. Busy days are here and seems like it's loving me for a while and wouldn't want to leave..So much things to do lately and have no more time to stay home and just chill! At least tomorrows Friday the weeks about to end!! thank God Its about to end!! I'm so loving my week but except the days of duty wherein I am forced to wake up 5:00 in the morning just to attend to my Hospital duty.

Just to catch up to the things I did this week here's quick recap..

Sunday was valentines day, well I received a donut shaped into mickey mouse which also tasted so good, it was gift and I really love it. In the afternoon a messenger came by with a delivery of flowers sent by whom? well that's a secret I'll never tell for now.. for now! but soon I would.

I was looking forward on watching dear friend but never did because of the cancellation of the show for this week. So I decided to put my day into watching dvd the whole day.

Except for the weekend happenings there was nothing new for the week except for the new things that are starting to be fixed. The days of my week are all about things being fixed. I was so tired the whole week because of the toxicity of my duty well..thanks to Mrs. Cuevas our clinical instructor. Plus the fact that this week is our examination week!! I hate being a student!..and that's a proven fact!! but severyone needs to finish their studies and I'm one of those! I would want to finish my course,well I hope I get a lot of support from my family and of course their understanding,I just human I still get tired and most of time exhausted because of this works.

Just dropped by to say happy vday!!

You might be wondering why I've been out for a while with my blogging..well, I been so busy whole week and so down. I have emotional imbalance this week and good thing I resolved it already..well, I wish!! lol.. Somehow this weekend I have time to catch up. I been so furious about my schedule this week, I have early morning duty and classes in the afternoon and to add it up I been sick the whole week, can you imagine how I felt the whole time? I was so tired and feelinh of wanting to give up.. but anyway I'll be blogging tomorrow for now and for today I'll grab some rest and enjoy the day while it last!! ciao!!

I just said a while ago that I just turned 21 today.. I celebrated my day with inner happiness, knowing that most of the things in my life are already settled. I couldn't express well my feelings on how happy I am on the way my life is in the present. I wouldn't wanna go back two years ago..when all I can see about myself is bitterness and uncontentment. Now I know that I am really happy of those persons who are in my life and those who stayed. I really miss my Lola and how I wish She's here with us to celebrate my 21 years of celebration of life. I know that as I age I become more mature with how I live my life and this is what ought to be.. To grow up. Hmm.. I still doubt my age,cause honestly people can't believe that I'm already 21. People thought about me as if I just turned 18..lol to them!! but flattering!! A compliment.. Happy birthday to me.!! Today I celebrated my bday as simple as I want it to be. All I wanted was to celebrate it with my love ones, though still I have other plans on my post bday with my friends on our free day. I attended the morning mass with my special someone and ate at mcdo with him. We had a nice morning together. Later in the afternoon I bought pizza which I was craving for the whole week,and the cake was a gift from my bf which I really appreciated. My sister also made a special chocolate brownies ala nicca for me. Most people around me really knew that I really love chocolates. I drank red wine with my tita and tito, and sing..sing..sing! I made my birthday special,as they say our own happiness in in our own hands

Today I just turned 21..

can you believe it I am of legal age of 21. Brunette and legally 21! lol.. As numbers are being added on my age responsiblities are also on the go as in double. I am thankful for the 21 years of bdays that i have and the celebration of life. I just got home from the church..and I am hoping to enjoy my whole day..

Today was a great day for me, We watched "DEAR JOHN", The movie has a nice story with very unpredictable endings, though it has a nappy ending making the two lead character ending up with each other, still during the film showing no one can't really predict the next scenes. I been always a movie fan, and I like Good stories especially those that were written by Nicholas Sparks. The movie was really nice. I appreciate the movie and its ending as well.. I really enjoyed my day, we ate Japanese food. Hope this will lessen out my stress with most of the things I am having right now!!!

Aside from my bday and valentines day, sportfest and school celebrations happens on this month. Well I don't have clear idea on why its always that I go to school with lots of celebration happening on February. Ever since I started school back then It was always a tradition and maybe a coincident that Sport fest and foundations happens at this month.


Yesterday, I was reminded by my classmate ate evelyn that It's Bingo day in the afternoon and everyone is asked to attend the gathering. The Campus every year celebrates its sportfest and this week was the official start of the celebration. The whole Bingo game was exciting and fun because of students laughing on winners. The game ended on game 17 where the grand winner took 5,000. The bingo cards were thrown to the campus after the game with students laughing and immediately left the area. It was really a nice afternoon. But the weather was extremely warm, when I got home I felt so sick and dizzy. Today wasn't a tiring day,maybe its a pre gift of rest for me..lol

There are times and moments that I would sit beside our window and think about the past, Especially this past few day, I been thinking about how I was the past few years and how I made my life this way. I usually say that I am contented with hat I have, but that was a lie before. The truth was I am not! I am not contented with the way things are happening into my life before, It was always like I was looking for something to fill my emptiness.

Back then I was always an achiever then something awful happened I forgot who I am and neither the people around me. I become to insensitive to my feelings and to the feelings of my love ones. From a good daughter, an achiever, a good girlfriend and a good friend I suddenly fall down. How could an achiever fail on many things in her life. From a broken relationship, to drop subjects even up to being a rebel child to my parents. During this days I hardly knew myself, It was like I was a dead man walking, a man without any purpose, a man without good intentions.
God knew how I struggle, how many pains I've been and how many tears I shed, he knew how I wanted to see myself again. It wasn't that easy. It was in fact a very rough road.

The fact that I never gave up on myself is the greatest achievement I have for myself. The moments I spent being alone in the dark was the moments I will always treasure but would not want to go back. I learned form this part of my life, I found the purposes of my being. I woke up one day wanting more out of myself. During my 20th year of being alive that I found real happiness.

When I turned 20 I become the person that I been looking for, my old self was back. I found her just waiting for me, she was inside me all the time, and just like me she struggle to find me and now that i found I found my old self I promise to not let her go again, I would grow up and learn more things everyday together with my old self. Now that in a few days I'll be starting to welcome my new age "legal age of 21", I am hoping that everyday there would be brand new moments to look back and tomorrows to look forward to. In God I trust.

Putting all your focus on something really needs hard work and concentration, If you want to get to the top you should have your full focus on achieving it. I couldn't not agree more than being focus on the things your doing for a long period of time gets boring and boring everyday, plus the fact that there are still other factors that should need attention aside form achieving what you want. These things mostly divert our attentions, and I am one of this people who usually lacks focus when really doing something.


The few nights I been so blessed to have my focus on my studies and to hive my full attention on reviewing my notes and books. Though last night I was feeling a little tired because I was pulling all nighters for the 3rd night this week. As I was alone in the table reading my book last night I saw from the window the moon and wonder why it feel so close to the earth and on why does it shine so bright that night. I was like a kid last night, I was really wondering about this and want to find answers but I thought that still I should focus on my review. Even in my younger days I would stare at the sky and appreciate it beauty specially at sunset when the color of the sky turns to red. Just as like life the heaven and sky is a wonderful scenery to look at, but it always change as life do change. Speaking of diverting my attention and focus, let's go back to my topic which is my focus on my review. I been more inspired to do good on school and on my studies because of my tito who told me the greatest news I heard so far this year, Our U.S petition was granted before I turn 21 this year. Its a great opportunity for me and my family. The papers will still be processed and maybe would took some years but the good news about it is that it was granted before I turn 21, and for those who know something about being petitioned they would surely understand what I am saying right now. The news was something good to look forward..

February as we all know is the love month because valentine's day fall on this month, today I was constantly reminded about this and because February is the month of my bday too, and people start bugging me about this.. lol!

Yesterday I said on my bog that I am so excited to see dear friend's "almost a love story played by Rhian Ramos and Tj Trinidad. I waited all week just to see the show and it did not dismayed me because the start of the show was really nice and did it relate to my own stories somehow. The story is entitled "Almost a love story" on reasons the show is still not revealing and I am very much eager to know why the title fits the show maybe in the later part of the series it will be revealed. This is how the story started, Rommel is a happy go lucky 24 year old guy, he is still on college and appreciate much of his time playing his psp and riding his motorcycle. His father use to brag unto him how his life is being a bum and being is still on college, all along his father thought that he was a failure and use to nug him about this things in his life. Rommel has a long time girlfriend who is currently a big shot lawyer which makes him feeling inferior because of the achievements of her girl. Later Rommel felt the big differences he and his girlfriend has. He thought that they are beginning to grow apart and they have no similarities anymore that would make their relationship worthwhile to keep. On the other side of the story is Hannah, a 15 year old young girl who enjoys most of her time spent with her family. As goes with her age hannah is a very playful girl, innocent and very much young. She hardly knew about love and being friends with boys. All hannah knew is to eat large amount of foods, play tennis on her psp and watch tv. Until one day Hannah's cousin from bacolod who will be staying on hannah's house for college invited hannah to a supposedly acquaintance party that turned out to be a date of her cousin and his bf. Her cousin make over hannah to look mature than her age and dressed her elegantly on a red dress. Hannah look so beautiful and eye catching that night that upon arrival to the bar she completely caught Rommel's attention, Since hannah was left alone by her cousin who stayed at the dance floor Rommel sitted beside her and ask her on the game she's playing and asked her if they could go somewhere else to play psp together or do something else, But Hannah was so hesitant about this and told Rommel that she can't go some where else because she's only 15, rommel told her that at her age she's not really suited to the place and that he will do no harm on her and they will only play games. Hannah decided to be with him since she is bored on the place, They had a wonderful night eating burger and fries, playing psp and laughing with each other. Rommel escorted Hannah back to the bar to be with her cousin, her cousin was so shocked because all along she thought Hannah has no boy friends. Upon arriving home Rommel immediately called Hannah to ask if got home safely, they talked all night until the sun shined. They continue meeting up and enjoy each others company. One day as they were watching dvd Rommel's girlfriend arrived and thought Hannah to be a young friend of Rommel, She was right about it, Rommel and Hannah had no relationship at all but this is the moment Hannah felt so jealous and that she is starting to grow up and feel the same way other girls feel. She admitted to her cousin that she is absolutely jealous about the girl coming to to Rommel's house and angry that Rommel did not told him about this issue. Rommel Broke up with her gf that day, telling her about how much she doesn't deserve him and finding reasons not to be her. He even told her that they have lot of differences that it would be unfair for her if they continue with the relationship. Her gf did not bargain anymore about this and got angry with him but all Rommel though all along was Hannah who immediately turned angry with him about this. That night Rommel meet up with Hannah to explain and to say sorry about the situation they had a while ago, He offered her burger and fries as a peace offering, since Hannah couldn't resist Rommel he accepted the apology. The moments they spent with each other was indeed happiness for both of them. When Rommel and his friends meet up, his Friends started to joke on him about dating a young girl and they even invited Rommel's ex girlfriend. They all seem to like Rommel and her true girlfriend being together. Rommel was tempted to be with her ex gf that night because of his friends and decide to stay away from Hannah because he felt humiliated about the jokes his friends threw on him that night. Rommel felt so wrong being with his ex gf so he decide to dump her and reject her. His ex was so furious about it and told Rommel to tell Hannah's parents about Rommel and Hannah's relationship. Rommel wanting no trouble refrained from calling or seeing Hannah, but Hannah couldn't understand their situation so she decided to go to Rommel's place and talk with him on why he's not calling or meeting up with her. Rommel told Hannah that she is not her girlfriend and that she couldn't demand for his time. Hannah felt awful about this and start crying. As she was about to leave Rommel stopped her and told her that he really misses her so much. They watch dvd and Rommel even cooked for her that day. Everything was perfect beside form Rommel's bitter girlfriend who called Hannah's parents and told them that their 15 year old daughter is dating a 24-year old guy. Of course Hannah's parents was angry and furious about this so they decided to call the police and sew Rommel for they thought that Rommel is maliciously abusing their daughters innocence, the end of the series was shown Rommel being caught by the police and Hannah crying because of this. The story still does not end but next Sunday is it's next episode.. I promise to include continue this story next week when I watched it. I like the story because somehow I could relate to this. For those who knows every happening of my life I am sure they knew why I like this story so much.. Beside it is my guilty pleasures wasting my time watching series. This is me and I like this kind of shows.. Next week I'll be posting the story of the next episode..