THE SEARCH OF A YOUNG WOMAN

There are times and moments that I would sit beside our window and think about the past, Especially this past few day, I been thinking about how I was the past few years and how I made my life this way. I usually say that I am contented with hat I have, but that was a lie before. The truth was I am not! I am not contented with the way things are happening into my life before, It was always like I was looking for something to fill my emptiness.

Back then I was always an achiever then something awful happened I forgot who I am and neither the people around me. I become to insensitive to my feelings and to the feelings of my love ones. From a good daughter, an achiever, a good girlfriend and a good friend I suddenly fall down. How could an achiever fail on many things in her life. From a broken relationship, to drop subjects even up to being a rebel child to my parents. During this days I hardly knew myself, It was like I was a dead man walking, a man without any purpose, a man without good intentions.
God knew how I struggle, how many pains I've been and how many tears I shed, he knew how I wanted to see myself again. It wasn't that easy. It was in fact a very rough road.

The fact that I never gave up on myself is the greatest achievement I have for myself. The moments I spent being alone in the dark was the moments I will always treasure but would not want to go back. I learned form this part of my life, I found the purposes of my being. I woke up one day wanting more out of myself. During my 20th year of being alive that I found real happiness.

When I turned 20 I become the person that I been looking for, my old self was back. I found her just waiting for me, she was inside me all the time, and just like me she struggle to find me and now that i found I found my old self I promise to not let her go again, I would grow up and learn more things everyday together with my old self. Now that in a few days I'll be starting to welcome my new age "legal age of 21", I am hoping that everyday there would be brand new moments to look back and tomorrows to look forward to. In God I trust.